When you ask someone how they are doing and their reply is simply just “tired”, make sure to pause. Take a moment to actually look in their eyes, see the rest of the sentence that they failed to finish. They aren’t tired of the right now, they don’t have an exhaustion that 8 hours of sleep is going to fix. When you ask what happened or what is wrong…don’t expect to have an answer different from one they may have given you 4 months ago. IT IS STILL THE SAME REASON.
The soul is tired, the heart is tired, the mind….all of her is tired. She is tired of having to explain what is wrong, how she is doing, what her plans are, what she did last night, or why something happened. She is tired of repeating herself, explaining herself, justifying herself, or just simply….being herself.
Look into her eyes and stop seeing a broken, worn down, girl that you have to take care of or protect. There is a woman in there that is just tired. Instead of asking her multiple questions and expecting anything at all from her right now, let her rest. She isn’t asking for you to fix a damn thing. She doesn’t need your protection. She needs your understanding and your silence.
She is tired of judgment, opinions, advice, and hovering. She is claustrophobic and clawing her way out of this box that everyone including herself put her in. Stop shaking her awake just as she falls into REM to restore her mind and body.
You are worried, clinging, checking in on, and tending to this tired girl. Stop. Be her family. Be her friend. Stop trying to be anything else other than someone on the outside that has no idea how she feels on the inside. Support her, love her, listen to her….but don’t try to do or be anything else.
Stop assuming that there is an exception to anything. She needs silence. Your song is not the exception. She needs time to mend her heart from heartache. His love is not the exception. She needs to change her life. The time with you is not an exception.
She is going to change. She is going to wake up one day very soon and be that completely different person that she is daydreaming about. The one with a new heart, a fueled mind, a rested soul. She won’t be tired anymore and she will hit the floor with a tremble that the gods will feel.
That look in her eyes won’t be of a lost or tepid girl. The blackness you will see beyond those depths of crystal blue will cause you to shake with vigor. Walls you cannot penetrate will lock you out of a mind that you thought just weeks before would crumble to the ground.
She will no longer be tired.
Stop underestimating the girl you see standing before you because you’ve never met the woman hiding inside of her. She knows who she is and who she can be.
You aren’t bringing anyone new out of her. You aren’t helping to create a strong, better version of herself. She already exists. Do not own yourself any credit to her strength, self-realization, potential, or progress in life. She will thank those that deserve it and the ones that knew exactly what she needed will be acknowledged. Don’t pretend you knew what she needed just because you saw the defeat in her eyes. It was the defeat of a battle, not of her war.
Written by Tammy Lee
May 16, 2016