I live my life to the definition of what it means, feels, and looks like to be rushed. Why do you ask? I have no idea! Who rushes me? ME!
You can ask any colleague at work, my significant other, my family, my friends…I don’t even know how to walk at a leisurely pace. My heels hit hard against the ground and every step in my stride has purpose and direction. I’m quite alright with this at work or when I have an actual place to go. I realized however, that I am basing my life around the next event instead of the right now event.
What is your 9-5 to like? Here’s mine…
Wake up in the morning – RUSH to shower, get ready, and leave for work.
RUSH in the car to get there faster.
RUSH with impatience to get through the day…watching the clock and waiting, not even waiting for the work day to be over to embrace that evening. I’m planning, organizing, scheming the entire rest of my afternoon and evening in my head.
RUSH to the grocery store so that I can get home to clean
RUSH to clean so I can start dinner
RUSH dinner so I can have time to watch TV or read…and just relax
But even that is short-lived because I RUSH off to bed so that I can RUSH to be awake.
Oh, but you have plenty of time on the weekends, I mean you can sleep in, take your time with your own hobbies, you can spend quality time with your loved ones, you can go out or do whatever you want.
WRONG! Let’s take a gander….
Friday night. Finally off work. WOO-HOO!
Let’s RUSH home to shower, get ready
RUSH home that evening to take of the dogs
RUSH to get spot cleaning done
RUSH to relax
RUSH off to bed because I don’t want to sleep the whole day….I have so much to do!
RUSH in the morning to get trivial chores done like mopping, sweeping, dusting, dishes, laundry.
RUSH to get through that stuff so I can focus on lunch.
RUSH through lunch to clean up and then focus on projects that have been neglected like chores, painting the front yard, fixing the fence, cutting the grass, unfinished interior decoration
RUSH to get ready because it is Saturday night and a social life is a big factor in mental health and well, by this time I just REALLY need a glass of wine or a beer.
RUSH to get home because Sunday is coming!
RUSH on Sunday because it is the last day before the work week….we only have one day left!!
RUSH to wake up earlier so I can sip slowly on coffee and make breakfast.
RUSH to go for a ride and enjoy the afternoon
RUSH home because the dogs were alone all day
RUSH to finish the laundry
RUSH to get everything ready for the work week.
Sound exhausting? It is. As you have probably figured out by now, most of this is not physically rushing around, running, and looking like a crazy person. But while I am enjoying that beer with close friends, running errands at the store, or taking a bubble bath….I feel like I’m never actually in the moment. My to do list is a mile and a half long and I realized that I never give myself a break. I don’t really ever allow myself to fully relax and embrace the present and I am going to regret that as the years go by.
While I am drying my hair, I am remembering that my nails need to be done. While I’m making the bed, I’m wondering if I have time to run with the dog when I get off work. On Friday night I’m wondering if I can get enough house chores done to do the Poker Run on Sunday. While I’m at work, I’m thinking of the paintings I haven’t hung or the gardening that I want to do. While I’m cooking, I’m thinking that the floors need to be mopped and swept.
I don’t believe in making New Years Resolutions. I believe it is silly to make a commitment to yourself once a year and usually it is something trendy or vain, everyone’s resolutions are so similar. Lose weight. Stop smoking. Eat healthy. Workout more. And most of the time….no one actually follows through with their resolution. It is made on a whim based on the conversation of a person[s] you are around and they end up meaningless.
But this year…
I am going to choose to make a commitment to myself, a New Years Resolution if you will. I am going to promise myself that I will try to embrace today, this moment, this minute, this instant. I promise myself that I will do my best to stop rushing. There are times I may succeed and there are times that I may forget and fail. All that matters, is that I do my best and every once in a while I look at myself in the mirror and remind myself to stop rushing.
I’m going to spend the hour and a half in the grocery store because I truly enjoy running errands. I’m going to walk for as long as I want when I take the dog out because I want to take the scenery in. I am going to enjoy my Saturday nights because I’m making memories with the love of my life and friends I really care about.
I’m going to make sure that I don’t rush through each day and eventually life without giving the proper attention to first myself, and then to everyone around me that I love and care for. You set the example of how others treat you by how you treat yourself. I am going to cut myself slack, I am going to laugh at myself when I do something “stupid” and I’m going to give myself time to relax.
Life is not a rush. Life isn’t about tomorrow. It is about today. Life is a blessing and something to be enjoyed. We only live once. Don’t make it go by faster than it already is.