My mother told me when I was a little girl that you become the company you keep. Your friends will define who you are to yourself and to others. I never really understood that until I hit my [early] twenties.
Now I am in a time of my life where I want to be the person I feel on the inside, not the person I acted like during my excusable young age. I see a person entirely different from you when I look in the mirror. This struggle is something I face with others, not with myself which is….really a struggle with myself, right? Forever it feels like I will be seen or remembered as that person from when I was 16, 20, or even 25. Well, on my way to thirty I suppose this is the time in my life where I am ready to put to rest the girl who is scared to grow old and dig out the woman who wants fine china.
I said something the other day to my S/o that took even myself by surprise. We were having a casual conversation and I made the remark…”Well, I don’t want to turn into a boring housewife”…Whoa! I am totally scared of turning into a boring housewife. But you know what? My personality would never allow that. Ever. All I needed was to say it out loud so I could confidently disagree with myself.
After giving myself approval to not look 21 anymore or act like I was 23 I noticed a weight lifted from my mind. I’m going to be that crazy woman in pearls and a Southern Bell dress of yellow paisley and bright red lipstick that coasts on a rip stick down a hill…I will always be that woman. The best part about me is that I am a mixture of so many things…Southern Bell [unfortunately not genuinely born and raised], Corporate career woman, Harley motorcycle rider, crazy country girl, beach bum…I am all of it and I absolutely love it. I get to embrace each side of myself when it is appropriate.
I think that is the key to this life and to being happy. Everyone tries to categorize themselves and put themselves in a clique, a group, a definition. It starts in High school…are you a jock, a nerd, popular, a cheerleader, hippy, etc? Well you can ask anyone that I went to school with…I fit absolutely no where.
So here I am, defying the elementary, junior high, and high school ability to blend in -any where-. Heck, I didn’t have a real friend until 6th grade?
Well, I am getting a little side tracked here. But the truth is…If I had fit in back in my home town….I would have never moved 900 miles away, I wouldn’t be working for a large Corporate Company and progressing ahead of schedule in my career, I wouldn’t have found love, and I wouldn’t be living on the beach.
I know it is human nature to always find the best in a situation and maybe that is what I did so that I could move on and forgive those people. But the point is…
You are the company you keep. Your friends DO define you. Become the person you want around you and you’ll attract those friends to your side as well. I want those that are blunt, elegant, fun, drama free, rowdy, sophisticated, and loyal. I want the biggest and most varied combination of friends so that we can all pull out the best characteristics of one another. A melting pot.
Let’s go get that yellow sun dress and red lipstick on, sip some tea, and then tonight we can ride the bull down at the local bar….because just as I don’t fit in a box, I don’t want my friends to either.