Isn’t it so easy to get stuck on the idea of perfect? So many people search for the perfect house or perfect car. They want perfect hair or perfect skin. They think there is this end-all-be-all perfect person out there. The truth? Nothing will ever be perfect and no one will ever be perfect.
I remember an age where I used to watch couples and think to myself…”Now that, is true love.” You know what I’m talking about…you had this idea of a perfect relationship and at least one time in your life, you saw a couple that you thought was the perfect example of true love.
The truth? It isn’t what I thought it was when I was younger. True love, real love…it isn’t this little show of perfection that you see looking in to someone’s front window, always full of laughs, and simple like those LMN movies. It isn’t the family getting along all the time and never arguing. Hell, it isn’t even having 100% compatibility. Real love is having bad days, tough times, disagreements, and still knowing you are meant to be together. It’s finding reasons to fight for each other and love each other despite life and it’s always untimely circumstances. Real love is about being able to spend the rest of your life with your best friend. Best friends bicker but best friends also always pick each other back up, slap some reality into each other and move on to the next day.
Listen here, friends. The “perfect” relationship is about doing all the shit you don’t want to do. It’s about sacrificing stupid little things like the last bite on your plate or what you want to watch at the theater because their favorite movie is playing. It’s about choosing to love them more than yourself and putting them first.
This….this is real love.
Here is not a perfect man. But here you will see a perfect man for me, chopping wood for MY mom so she has firewood all winter. Did he want to? Probably not. Who would want to chop wood in cold weather in MISSOURI!? He did it though and without a single complaint. Instead, he chose to make it fun, challenged himself, and got to spend quality time with my cousin.
This….this photo he might want to kill me for but it is absolutely one of my favorites. I have to share it.
We have lived in this home [finally with a backyard] for a little over a year. I’ve mowed the grass one time and I had to rush to beat him to it. Why? Because this man right here always makes sure I don’t have to. He steps up when I need him to and makes sure that things that are part of being an adult get handled. And oh my gosh was it so hot that day!! Mid-summer in Florida and it was so humid outside. How do I thank him? I hide in the living room and take pictures through the blinds. Why? Because these are the memories that I want in our family photo albums, not those staged and filtered photos that don’t show our personality and our life.
I am so far from perfect. We are so far from perfect. We have been through pain, heartache, loss, life, and our own self-inflicted mess of problems. I wouldn’t trade a moment because in all of that, we have found a balance that works for us. We have more laughs than we do tears, we have more conversations than we do arguments. We have more love for each other than we know what to do with, and not a single ounce of hate. Most of all, we have support and we have someone to share this crazy life with forever. There isn’t a moment that goes by where I don’t have someone to run to when shit gets real or a shoulder to cry on when I’m sad. There isn’t a day that goes by where I have to question if he has my back. He will always defend me, root for me, and support me. That is worth more than pretty much anything in the entire world. I’d take it over cookie cutter happiness and a “perfect” relationship any day.
I used to think that showing someone you loved them was always the huge romantic gestures. Horse drawn carriages, flowers, spur of the moment confessions of love…you know, all the stuff you see in movies. You know what real love looks like? It’s hiding a few deviled eggs from the rest of your house guests because you know they are his favorite. It’s waking up earlier for work than you need to so you can pack his lunch and leave a note in it, just to make him smile later on in the day. It’s tagging him in a FB post saying ” I must have this” and then him actually buying it and surprising you with it! It’s truly all the little things that count more than any grand gesture. I never thought I’d be making stuffed mushrooms but I do….I can barely stand the smell or feel of them but by the gods, my man loves them so I made sure to get to know a superb recipe.
If there is any advice I can give anyone, it is to never compare your relationship or your significant other to someone else and their relationship. Not a single situation is the same and there isn’t such a thing as a perfect relationship or person. The people you are together are a product of the people you bring out of each other. Find someone who makes you amazing and you’ll be amazing together. Don’t ever think someone “has it all” by the show they put on when you are around or what you see on social media. No one is going to post all the ugly stuff. Most of us don’t even want to post ugly photos. And that isn’t wrong – The things that happen between two people, between families, between friends, shouldn’t be public. Don’t feel bad or like what you have isn’t AMAZING because you hit rough spots. If there isn’t at least one time where you want to pull your hair out in frustration, then you guys aren’t digging around in real life enough together. Get to the nitty-gritty and be there for each other.
Here’s all I’m saying….BE PROUD OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP AND OF EACH OTHER. I just spent the entire time bragging about how NOT perfect my relationship is and how happy I am about it. That’s all I wish for everyone I care about; to find someone who is perfect for them.