Delightfully Lost

Have you ever realized that you’ve been off in your “own world” but only when something snapped you back in to reality?

I haven’t done it in a while…Haven’t lost myself to the inner workings of my mind but it is finally happening again. Delightfully lost in my own thoughts, playing out scenarios, and altering outcomes like a movie. I love it.

Something so small can trigger that inward look back in to your own mind, your own thoughts, your own creativity. A fictional story that I’m writing and re-writing. And then I blink…sometimes it is gone and sometimes I’m lucky enough that it lingers around so I can hold on and brainstorm. I’m one of the lucky ones that can see it all, playing like a video. I can rearrange characters and hear the voices just ever so faintly. A blessing in a time like this, a curse so many other times in life. But I’ll take it. I’d never trade it for the world.

Why am I so excited? Because my muse, she lives so deep and far down in those inner depths that sometimes she doesn’t play nice. Call it writer’s block, if you will. But sometimes it takes but the ghost of a touch and she’s stirred. Sleepy but nevertheless, there.

I miss writing poems and short stories. I fell short the last few years of the dream to dabble in a novel. Is it out of reach and most likely not a possibility? Yea, it most likely won’t happen. But the fun in it for me, isn’t the ending. It’s the middle and trying to make it all line up.

I’d settle for a single thought that makes me get up from the comforts and warmth of my covers at 2:00 am just to write it down. That excitement over a single word that I want to put to paper.

Perhaps I’m delighted to be lost because I forgot what excitement felt like.

 

Tammy Lee

6/5/2018

 

 

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